Between the Cracks...

Peony Row   Watercolor on Yupo   11 x 15

As we were using Yupo in class, I recalled just one other time, many years previously, that I had used the stuff.  The memory was crisp....sitting the warm sun on my patio and tackling the peony row there....on Yupo.  I remember the frustration of the meandering paint, the frustration of not being able to layer.  These days I am, hopefully, more accepting of such challenges.  After some looking, I came upon that older work "Peony Row".  At the time, I was still taking the best work to a professional to be photographed and, apparently, I didn't feel that my peony painting was worthy.  Pulling it out, after all these years helped me to see that it was better than I had thought.

One quick swipe of a wet brush on Yupo takes the stroke back to the white surface...well, almost.  I found that I really did appreciate the colorful residue left behind on these strokes.  Very sublime.

Putting away questionable paintings is a good trick.  Several years later, I am able to make a better judgement regarding its success.  Sometimes, I am quite aware that the painting really does suck.  And, surprisingly, sometimes the work is better than the image of it that dwells in my subconscious.  That was the case here.  A work that had fallen between the cracks has redeemed itself to me.  Let's not be too hasty to judge.

There is a frenzy about the holiday season...

Filling In   watercolor   10 x 10

that has nothing at all to do with shopping or cookie-baking.  It has to do with a cleansing of our environment....both Rick and I become obsessed with pounding in those errant nails that we have lived with the entire year, ridding the shower curtain of that mildew smell and checking out the size of the dust bunnies behind the refrigerator.  I used to think it was because his parents came to visit.  Now I think of it more as a creating of more negative space in which to dwell in peace.  AND SO CAME THE CLEANING OF THE STUDIO.   For years I had been meaning to paint the antique jelly cupboard that houses my supplies.  The brown wood was depressing.  The paint job took several days, as I chose to do it in three colors (but of course!) and the cupboard is happier.  I am happier.  Then the cupboard led to cleaning out the files......there are always surprises involved.  For the most part, I find that earlier work is better than I remember....almost fresher when I knew less, perhaps relied more on instinct.  "Filling In" is such a work.  When our model did not show up one evening, a newcomer instantly declared her willingness to shed clothing and fill in.  None of us knew much about this girl.  She had no art supplies and painted with eye makeup on paper.  At the end of the session her husband came into the studio to pick her up. I never knew her name.  We never saw her again.  It was a bit of a Santa Claus experience and I was the benefactor.  I have always loved this painting and was surprised, in my reorganization, at its honesty.

Will the real Mrs. Bryner please stand up?

 

Mrs. Bryner in Her Garden 1 and 2   watercolor/gouache   20.5 x 13.5

Many years ago I photographed a local woman Mrs. Bryner in her garden. She is a retired school librarian with massive vegetable gardens who charmed the socks off of me. Four paintings resulted. That is a dangerous thing. When there is more than one, comparisons are made, and an inclination to like one the best. Two paintings sold within a few years. I then assumed that the remaining two paintings were somehow unworthy and they sat in their attic boxes for years. I recently unearthed them and found that I like them both! (despite having two many hard edges for my current-day liking) I felt Mrs. Bryner's charm shining through. Liking one more than the others is dangerous. There will be other moments, other years, other preferences, other likes. And twenty years hence I discovered that they all are Mrs. Bryner. They all have something wonderful to say about my subject.

Flux

Cauliflower, Tomatoes and Celery   watercolor/gouache   10 x 10

I believe that we are constantly in a state of flux, our opinions and preferences ebbing and flowing according to our moods, our peers and our cultural mores. Who hasn't looked back at a photo of himself/herself from the previous decade and wondered, "What ever was I thinking?" And so it goes. It often happens that I am dissatisfied with a painting or drawing only to find that someone else likes it a great deal. And on the flip side, a work that I find successful will draw many "I think you should_____" comments at a critique. I pulled a work out of my portfolio from several years ago and found that I liked it much more than I had originally. Is it because I am in a different place mentally? I don't know. Sometimes, the more you learn, the less you know.