Letting Go

The Letting Go   oil on canvas   40 x 30 x 1.5

of all kinds of things is scary...letting go of habits, of crutches, of perfectionism.  And yet, letting go allows for many more opportunities, more confidence, and an increasingly greater realm of creativity.  When I was a child, I took swimming lessons.  As a below-average swimmer, I always took care to choose the lane in the pool that was on the edge, just in case I needed to hang on to the wall as a security device.  After a few sessions, my instructor caught on to my trick and told me to take the center lane.  That was when I learned to swim.  By increasing our drawing skills, and by letting go of photographs we are able to achieve more freedom in our paintings.  And that is indeed the most difficult thing to do.  As children, we are able to doodle all over the page without terror.  As adults, we somehow become mired in reality and glued to details that are actually unimportant.  In the long run, I believe that we will only achieve freedom when we let go of our visual crutches.

My actress friend calls this "being off book".  Essentially, this means that it is only when you have memorized the script, and can put it down, that you are able to be creative with your own interpretation of your character.

My current read is The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt.  On page 578, (for those of you with an investigative inclination), is a description of paintings that illustrate my point....and a lengthy discussion at that.  Too much perfectionism deadens.  The masters are indeed masters at the creating the illusion of the subject, while using the paint, the strokes and their hands, as well as the subject.

Let go..............if only one hand at a time.

"Letting Go" is currently on exhibit at Group Ten Gallery in Kent, Ohio.

Jolie Laide...

Paint Dancer (a self-portrait)   oil/canvas   40 x 30 x 1.5

It is said that the French have an expression "jolie laide" that refers to unconventional beauty or an odd attractiveness.  (Literally it means "pretty ugly" which fails miserably in direct translation, as do most idioms). Other definitions have to do with personal grooming and other meaningless details.  I am guessing that this expression is more English than French in its origins and somewhat satisfies our desire to explain that amazing sense of enviable style possessed by the French.  For me, it implies much, much more....in fact, I give it my own meaning:  that of a combination of two polar opposites (beauty and ugliness), the combination of which provides soulfulness to our senses.  I am enamored with this notion and strive for it in my work.  The past has given us more than enough samples of paintings of beautiful women, beautiful bouquets and perfect-setting-sun landscapes.  Yawn.  It seems that many young male painters still perpetuate the notion that if-you-are-a-great-artist-than-you-will-paint-beautiful-women.  In this scenario, the work is then external, dependent upon the beauty of the sitter.  Yawn again.  For me, the paintings of tattooed bodies that lean more towards counterculture are a bit more interesting but still smack of surface value.  So, then, for me, a goal is to elevate the ordinary, to search for a bit of meaning and essence in the mundane and, hopefully, a bit of reaching inwards.  For this to occur, there must be, in my mind, a conjoining of the efforts of both the sitter as well as the painter. I am sticking my neck out here....a goal is just that....a goal....it is always striven for but not always reached.

This detail is from my self-portrait.  When shown at a critique, I was advised by more than one male artist to take out the evidence of aging, to make the portrait more narrowly youthful and beautiful.  But, I argued, that was the whole point of making the painting.  Several female artists were excited and supportive in my choice of what to include.  In my choice to honor the "jolie-laide", I have chosen to show my own self-portrait for fear that I might offend any of my other models.....for who wants to be jolie-laide in America?

!noitcefrep

Hidden Symmetry   oil/canvas   48 x 24 x 1.4

I recently saw a t-shirt with "perfection!" printed backwards......it made me chuckle and also summed up how I feel about that notion. We have lived in Brimfield Township for over 20 years. One of our landmarks was always a beautiful old barn with two amazing steeples, all in a state of disrepair. The rumor persisted that the owners were going to restore it. I finally got around to photos for a painting. Two paintings resulted. "Hidden Symmetry" is a metaphor for me of each of us. We seem to strive to be upright in so many ways. Sometimes it is exhausting. But we sag, lean, and topple.....we are flawed.....we have character....we are lovely. Two weeks after completing the paintings, the steeples were removed to the trash heap. We are also impermanent. "Hidden Symmetry" will be exhibited in Youngstown at The Butler Institute of American Art 72nd Midyear Exhibition from July 13 - August 24.